My daughter is having surgery next week. It's minor, routine, and expected to go well. My biggest stress right now (second only to horrible irrational imaginings where the doctor comes out of surgery saying "I'm so sorry") is probably the CRYING aspect. I cry SO EASILY. On the phone with the nurse, just getting the schedule and instructions, I was SECRETLY CRYING.
And it's not crying like "I feel like crying and have genuine reason to do so, but would rather not do it in front of someone else," it's spontaneous irritating embarrassing inappropriate crying---like blushing. Really, almost exactly like blushing. It usually happens in response to DRAMA. Like, I don't have to be personally emotionally involved in the drama: just the EXISTENCE OF a dramatic moment will get me crying. And this surgery will have one million dramatic moments that DO personally emotionally involve me, so it will be 100 times worse: the child-sized hospital johnny, the wheeling into surgery, seeing her go unconscious.
But I can't be WEEPING as she goes into surgery! I need to be calm and reassuring, communicating with my entire being that Everything Is Normal And Fine. And although I AM stressed, of course, the constant crying (with accompanying Inability to Speak Normally) will communicate to the doctors that I am nearly hysterical with stress (or, worse, someone who thrives on drama and is creating a fuss ON PURPOSE). And then they will be Kind and Reassuring (or Annoyed and Brusque), and that will make me cry MORE. I so wish I had not thrown out my leftover pills from previous attempts at psychiatric treatment, because I would TOTALLY TAKE THEM FOR THIS. I remember that was the best part of any medication I tried: I didn't cry at the drop of a hat anymore (I saved the tears for TRULY TOUCHING things, such as commercials).
I do still have Xanax and Ativan and Klonopin. I'm wondering if anyone knows if any of those are good for preventing stress-crying---and if so, if one is better than the others. I tried to research it and got one million articles on how it's better to cry instead of keeping emotions inside. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, BUT I AM NOT ASKING THAT QUESTION. I don't mind being somewhat tranquilized as well (since that's kind of unavoidable with TRANQUILIZERS), but what I'm looking for is not tranquilization (and in fact, less of that would be better: I still need to be, like, AWAKE) so much as a deadening of the Cry Reflex---so if you know of any OTHER medications that are good for this, DO speak up.
I am also looking for non-medication suggestions, although after decades of being a blush-reflex-type crier, I don't have much FAITH in them. Still, I was surprised to read the "jutting out the jaw" idea and find it DID help. "Taking a sip of water" helps too.
