1. My mom vented to me the other day about her brother, who has some opinions she doesn't agree with. EVERY SINGLE THING she mentioned was something where I feel the same way about her and her opinions about homosexuality. Every. single. thing. So I could totally agree with her about how extremely odd it is when you love someone but can't BELIEVE the awful things that person would say/think, and also about how in most cases there is ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE in discussing it. In fact, I gave her the exact advice I give myself when I'm dealing with her. I wonder if she wondered why I was so very understanding and helpful.
2. Mike, darling, if you flip the flick out at the children about DVDs not being in their cases ONE! MORE! TIME! I swear I will throw out every single one of your DVDs so you don't have to worry about it any more. The choices are not (1) your way or (2) throwing out the DVDs, but that is the way you keep presenting it to us, so I guess that's the way you want it. Also, stop making YOUR stupid problem OUR stupid problem. We should not be scrambling to help you just so you'll stop being angry.
3. My mother-in-law announced her annual autumn visit. And I am not freaking out. Oh, Prozac, please allow me to pledge my troth.
4. Though actually, don't tell Prozac I said so but I'm going to be trying something else when I see the doctor next week. The Prozac has definitely helped in some ways, but I have trouble PICKING UP MY PRESCRIPTION because I am afraid of talking to the pharmacy clerks, and I have trouble MAKING MY PSYCHIATRIST APPOINTMENTS because I am afraid of talking to the receptionist on the phone, and I'd say that's a social anxiety fail.
5. I'm on the wax of a waxing and waning food/exercise thing, and there are some ways in which I feel SO GOOD when I'm doing this, and there are even more ways in which I feel LIKE CRAP. And hate the whole world. And everything anyone ever says about food and exercise.
6. There are a lot of times when I know I'm not speaking the right way to my older children, but I don't seem to be able to change it. It's weird to be WILLING myself to change, and for it to have so little effect. See also: food/exercise.
So, I was JUST having a conversation with my brother about 20 minutes ago about some horrific remarks my mother made the other day. I was so shocked they came out of her mouth (I had never in 31 years heard my mother speak that way) I was completely speechless. I actually thought about your conversations with your mother about gay marriage and reminded myself not to say anything.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry your MIL is coming again. But DO talk to your doctor.
ReplyDeleteIf it is any consolation, Lexapro has absolutely zapped my anxiety. It wasn't totally social anxiety, but a percentage was.
Hang in there!
I feel the same way about talking to Winston. I WANT to speak more gently but it just always comes out very gruffly. I apologize to him every night while he sleeps... He still small enough that if I tell him we just need to love each other he'll let me hold on to him. Precious Boy...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I find myself doing the same thing with my Mom as well. When they were here last, she was very upset about something HER mother had said to her, and it was the same things she used to say to me as well...
And lastly, I love this place. The End.
You should go crazy like we did and totally DITCH every single dvd case, putting them into one of those books that holds cds/dvds. You should've seen the ginormous pile of dvd cases that were thrown out. It was insanity. But that cute little three book set that goes in the cute box (TARGET) is such an improvement, even if ALL of our movies aren't quite in it yet.
ReplyDeleteRegarding #6: God, it's so hard to constantly model patience, good humor, firm yet loving discipline, etc. I sometimes have wished I could go back and replay certain scenes with my now grown kids. But you know what? We're human and we are SO not perfect. Keep trying, though. Being aware of it and trying means that you will be doing better than if you had no awareness at all.
ReplyDelete"We should not be scrambling to help you just so you'll stop being angry."
ReplyDeleteI've been seeing variations on this theme on a lot of blogs lately. Pull it together, husbands!
One word: Xanax That's the best thing I've ever taken for anxiety.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you can use the mother in law dishes. . .
ReplyDeleteAlso, my word verification is avaeme, which makes me think Ava Emme and I think that would be a pretty name for a girl.
At least you and your mother can agree that it's hard to believe that someone you love can believe such ridiculous things. That's some common ground.
ReplyDeleteOn #2, I want to set a house rule for my hubby that if he sets up an impossible situation for a child, then it is HIS fault when something gets ruined.
#3 - AHHHH!! Run screaming. Although, I will look forward to the blog posts about her.
#5 - ME TOO! But I'm starting to see some results, so I'm trying to use that for extra motivation.
OMG, I just recently wrote about my anxiety and talking on the phone. I hate it, and I had to go get a prescription for Xanax filled and I was very nervous that the pharmacist might JUDGE me or think I was some sort of pill seeking addict so I was trying very hard to not look too shifty or drug addicty and I think that just made me look weird and sweaty. I guess I should have taken one before I went.
ReplyDeleteAs for #5 I am really working on the eating more healthy (healthily?healthfully?????) With the exception of ice cream, it is summer for crying out loud.
ReplyDeleteAnd #4 is a real struggle for me, I can't call and order a pizza without freaking out.
Also can't wait to see the posts about MIL!
My favorite is when Brian loses something then accuses me of throwing it away, only to find it shortly thereafter.
ReplyDeleteThey are a delight, aren't they?