It would be super-funny to use tags/labels for these posts, because I'd have, like, four:
1. Mother
2. Religion
3. Husband
4. Sex
Hee.
Today it's mother. And here is how she is driving me nuts: she keeps saying that when I was on Zoloft (this was SEVEN years ago), they "lost me"---as in, because I was transformed into a weird, not-myself person. Here are the annoying things about this:
1. I went off Zoloft because it didn't seem to be doing much. Mike agreed. But while I was on it, my mother NEVER SHUT UP about how I "wasn't myself."
2. When I went back on Zoloft later without telling her, she didn't notice any difference.
3. I'm currently on Prozac, which is having more effect than Zoloft, and whenever she mentions how "gone" I was on Zoloft, she compares it to the real me I currently am.
4. She has brought it up five times in the last three weeks. I guess that doesn't sound like a lot, but it feels really frequent to bring up something that happened seven years ago.
5. The reason she's so touchy about it is that the issues I was being treated for are less-severe versions of the same issues she has. To her, if I need medication, it means SHE needs it.
Number 2 is so FRUSTRATING. And number 5 totally explains it. Very unfortunate.
ReplyDeleteAt least my mom thinks it's fine that I am on meds, but she complains about worrying constantly and chronic insomnia, but of course SHE doesn't have those issues. Denial is so annoying!
ReplyDeleteI think you should start giving your posts titles like: Topic 1: Post 11. Or, 1:11. It would be like code!
ReplyDeleteI'm easily amused.
That is maddening. I have experienced similar conversations with my mother. Even knowing that it's HER issue doesn't help. I'm an adult--I really don't need someone telling me how I am or should be or what meds I should take or... 9 times out of 10 when my mom calls, I "ignore" the call. It helps my sanity almost as much as the meds. Not saying that you could/would do that, though.
ReplyDelete-Constance the Super
I love that she didn't notice the difference when you went back on it and that she sees nothing different now. It's kind of like a social experiment you're conducting. You haven't mentioned the Prozac in awhile; I hope that means the crazy dreams have ceased and things are going better.
ReplyDeleteYou're not going to believe this, but my word verification is "mothe" - just add "r" and what does it spell!!
This will make me sound bitchy, but: I think my life would be easier if, instead of bitching about whether I am or am not taking anti-depressants, my family would take drugs too!
ReplyDeleteOMG your mom sounds a LOT like my mom. With the repeating of the opinions/stories that somehow validate her to herself. Except my mom is way older than your mom so I bet it's worse because there is a BIG dose of senility added in just for fun.
ReplyDeleteSigh.
ReplyDeleteYou can't make this stuff up.
My mom told me to take vitamins and I'd be cured of bipolar disorder. I told her to get a shrink and he'd give her some good drugs. ;)
ReplyDeleteare you sure you're repeating a conversation that took place between you and your mother, and not me and my mother??
ReplyDeleteYou should totally just tell her that you've been on Prozac for months the next time she compares the "you" on Zoloft to the "you" now. Be all like, "Oh, you mean the still normal and in fact slightly less anxious than normal me? The PROZAC me?"
ReplyDeleteImgine the fantastic stuttering and gasping and mini heart attacks and woundedness at not being previously informed of this situation!
Which, you know, would be totally worth enduring for the smug gloating you could enjoy.
five times in three weeks is A LOT to bring up something that happened 7 years ago. It would annoy me, too. Why is it that family and close friends can't let go of times that you were "less than wonderful" no matter how long ago they were? My mom and (ex)BFF used to bring up stuff like that ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteBoth my husband and I are on meds. I'm on Prozac. He's on Zoloft. My mom told me she'd drag my butt into the doc if I didn't go... crying all of the way through the last Batman movie is not okay (except for the five minute sad scene.) I went on my own. I do not feel like a different person. I do not act like a different person. I feel perfectly normal.
ReplyDeleteMy husband crashed hard this spring in light of the economic downturn, er, spiral actually. (He's a home builder, was a home builder.) Long story short, he finally realized he wasn't coping and I dragged his butt to the doc. Then he told his mom. Who immediately started researching all of the scary side effects (none of which have happened to him), called him a day after he told her about the meds, and yelled at him to get off the drugs. So supportive, MIL, thanks. Make him feel worse for doing something healthy. Yes, that's the ticket. Oh, wait, did you say you've actively tried to hurt yourself before? (Yes, she really did.) Hello pot, we're the Kettles!
Then after he made it clear she was not to reveal his meds to anybody else in the family, we're 99.99% sure she let it drop to his sister. (The sister approached me at a recent family gathering with a sympathetic, poor you tone of voice.) On top of that, my MIL starts asking me if he's still take the drugs in front of other family members, who were deemed not-to-know. I wanted to slap her. I walked away instead.
My hubby does not feel like a different person. He does not act like a different person. He feels perfectly normal. Does she bother to ask why or any other personal and caring questions? Nope, just goes straight to the you shouldn't do it line. I hate her for doing that to my husband.
Thanks for giving me the chance to say that, Kim
"To her, if I need medication, it means SHE needs it."
ReplyDeleteOr that she CAUSED it.
OMG. Jane. That is a glorious insight. I hadn't thought of it. And it makes total sense, considering she thinks the mother is to blame if children turn out gay.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom still can't understand why I need counseling or medication. She insists there's nothing wrong with me, despite the fact that my therapist thinks I might have a bipolar spectrum disorder. Yeah, that's nothing. Thanks for your support, Mom.
ReplyDeleteI think the code idea is fantastic! I love being part of this little secret society!
ReplyDeleteSometimes my mom makes comments acting like she knows me SO WELL and I just want to shake her for her complete inability to see the real me. Her favorite thing to do is say something about my husband is upsetting me. Um, no try YOU are upsetting me lady.
ReplyDelete