I'm daydreamy and slow this morning, because last night I had a great dream about John Dawson. We were in high school together, and I consider him a real Near Miss: someone I should have dated, but didn't for a variety of reasons. We had a computer class together, and we had one of those flexible teachers who didn't really care who did what, so he used to come zooming over to me (our chairs had wheels) and look over my shoulder to see what I was doing. He'd rest his chin on my shoulder. He was nice to me, and affectionate, and flirty.
And he was TOTALLY my type. My type is tall and lanky and a little punk, and the funny thing is I have NEVER dated anyone who was my type. If I could go back in time, I would make the first move with John: I think we were both just too awk to do anything decisive.
Worse: right around the time I thought things were finally going to happen, I went on a date (if you can call it that) with one of his buddies. Very, very poor judgment on my part. And John was so mad. He was acting mad at his buddy, saying that his buddy was a total jerk and always tried to "corrupt the good ones," but I think he must have also been mad at me for falling for it, and he was probably also hurt. If he'd thought, as I did, that he and I were about to start dating, and then I went out with his friend, that probably felt pretty awful.
So after that, he was still friendly but he totally backed off. And then when I asked him to sign my yearbook, he scribbled out his own face, and wrote on a LOT of pages. One of the things he wrote was "LOVE ALWAYS" in huge capitals.
Anyway, I had a good dream about him, where he was affectionate like before, but this time we were dating. Sigh.
Do you have near misses in your past? People you kind of wish you'd dated, if only so you could have ruled them out and not still be thinking about them years later?
Yes. It's a guy from high school who EVERYONE thought was dreamy, but for some reason back then, I wasn't attracted to him. He was the star quarterback, the Homecoming king, etc. And yet I hung out with him and his best friend in a totally non-platonic way. We even double dated (we weren't each other dates) but I never felt like I "liked" him.
ReplyDeleteBut almost monthly I have romantic dreams about him. MONTHLY. It's been 17 years!
a couple. I also have guys I wish I would have slept with, just to know.....were they really good? Because now I've spent years wondering and having dreams about how I imagine they would have been. Should have slept with them, found out they sucked and got it over with!
ReplyDeleteYes!
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience. Mine was Steve Heyes; he didn't go to my school, but he was friends with my neighbourhood friend. We flirted for years, both of us too shy to make a move. Then I ended up dating his friend for a bit. The friend liked me more than I liked him, so I was then off limits to Steve due to his strong code of honour with his friend (admirable). Sigh. He's still the one that got away.
ReplyDeleteMy near-miss was actually a finally-got; it happened shortly after high school ended when he was home after basic training for the Marines. Pat Andriano, the Irish/Italian HOTNESS. One of those guys all the girls loved, but when he looked at you, you felt like the only (and luckiest) girl in the room.
ReplyDeleteI usually dream about him every couple of months, but if there was a way I could make that happen more often, sign me up.
There was a guy in high school that I lurrrrved for a couple years until I finally decided it wasn't going to happen. He was tall and hot and smart and in a band and soooooper nice, and just when I thought things were going to go there, his mom died of breast cancer, and he went a little wild and hooked up with this SKANK and I was crushed. I think that if we'd dated, it might have been a permanent condition and my life would have been sooooo different. He's still single and still amazing and now he doesn't drink at all.
ReplyDeleteLike someone else, I have a guy I wish I'd slept with, too. He was 10 years older than I was, and while I was under 18, we were friends and stuff, and he used to invite me to his band's shows and keep an eye on me. Before I turned 18, I started dating a guy I stayed with for almost 3 years, but when we broke up when I was 20, this other guy was there. He gave me the most amazing first kiss evah, and was totally awesome when he wasn't insecure and defensive. I backed off because of all the walls he had up with me, but I wish I'd let that play out.
Shit. Sorry about the super long comment.
My near miss was a guy who went to another private school so we saw each other occasionally. We hung out as friends whenever we were together. He was smart, cute, a talented musician--just a great guy.
ReplyDeleteFinally he invited me to a lock-in for his youth group--it wasn't exactly a date, but it might have turned into one if his ex-girlfriend hadn't showed up and hung on him all night. He was embarrassed about that (although he did nothing to stop her) and nothing ever happened between us. Fortunately I wasn't into him enough to be crushed, but I do wish we'd had a chance to date.
Ohhh, yes, my near-miss was in college, and he was a classical singer who now performs in operas. I dream about him frequently.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it would have worked out because I would have constantly been comparing my meager vocal talent to his amazing vocal talent, and thus feeling insecure, but otherwise, it was a near-miss for sure.
Mine dates back to high-school days too. He was shy, and nice, and smart, and he was captain of the hockey team but also didn't drink (a really unusual combination, and very appealing). And I think he liked me, but we were both too shy to do anything about it, and then I had a falling out with all of our mutual friends and by the time I was him again six months later he was embroiled in an ultimately doomed relationship with someone totally inappropriate who had been trying to elbow me out of her way just before the falling-out.
ReplyDeleteMostly, I wish I had dated him just because I never had anything like a boyfriend in high school and I think it would have done me some good to eradicate that sense that no boy will ever like me.
Oddly enough, it didn't even occur to me here to include in this category the guy I spent MOST of high school madly in love with, who I still have dreams about sometimes - mostly because I know that if by some miracle he had found 16-year-old stalker-girls attractive and actually asked me out, it would NOT have been a healthy relationship. Shy hockey boy, though... could have been good.
Not really no. I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of people I didn't date in high school that I wanted to date in high school -- but no one in particular stands out as a "near miss". In fact, I always said I'd never date or marry anyone from my high school -- and I'm doing both. I suppose you could say he was a "near miss" because I really liked him in high school and he returned that liking, but I was flighty and unable to figure those types of things out very well then, so we never dated. But, when we did start dating as real live grown-ups -- it was all fireworks and fabulous and I couldn't have a better relationship if I tried. So, I only sort of regret not dating him in high school because I probably would have totally ruined it and made him hate me and now I get to enjoy how wonderful he is as an adult and I appreciate the way he treats me.
ReplyDeleteBea- YES. I think you've put your finger on it. I had guys I wanted to date AT THE TIME, but looking back I think, "Ohhhhhh no no no thank goodness." The ones that are a struggle are the ones I think I would have had a good relationship with. John was so affectionate and smart and funny and nice and also hottt (but not universally considered hottt), and we got along so well. Whereas Hotty "Steve" McHotterson was a huge crush of mine for a long time, but we never talked or spent time together, and I think we would have had about one date before I didn't like him anymore.
ReplyDeleteNot really, unless mutual eyeballing counts. He was leaving the credit union, I was heading in. We stopped and stared, exchanging appreciative smiles. He's engaged to be married now.
ReplyDeleteI like tall, lanky guys too - the geekier/more intellectual the better! My sister does not understand - she married a beefstick basketball player.